Transporter 3 Review

Sequels and remakes. In recent years, Hollywood has turned to these two areas for one main reason. To milk that cow for all its worth. With a built in audience fresh off the original, or a similar demographic nostalgic for an update of a movie or TV series they remember when music used to be delivered on huge double sided, twelve inch plastic flat, round things called albums, all they need is a director who can pull it off, and actors and actresses who can sell it. Sometimes it works. Rambo, the second X-Men, Spider Man 2. Man On Fire. Other times, not so much. Starsky and Hutch.

One aspect sequels rarely deliver to the viewer is the surprise factor. Who is this new hero? What makes me care about him? How am I drawn into the dilemma that’s been thrust upon him? What is the movie going to provide me, that will kick in the ‘suspension of disbelief’, allowing my emotions to join the rollercoaster ride as the hero is put into one dangerous situation after another, building up to a final climax? Will the hero live, or will I be surprised of his impending doom? See Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea. These days, even free falling from a helicopter high in the sky and going splat onto a busy center city intersection doesn’t necessarily mean the hero has passed onto Saint Peter and The Pearly Gates. See Crank and Crank:High Voltage.

One day, someone must have sat in a board meeting and said, “There must be a teat or two we missed last time. Let’s give that cow one more squeeze and make a sequel out of the sequel.

Henceforth, Transporter 3.

The original Transporter put Jason Statham on the map as the latest and next action star for us to embrace. Handsome, athletic, capable, the British accent. And a more than believable set of on-film martial arts skills. But an impressive feature set will only take you so far, especially when you’re fed the same meal, over and over again. See any Steven Seagal movie after Under Siege 2.

In the third go round, Jason’s character, Frank Martin, in drawn into an unavoidable situation when another transporter literally brings his problem home to Frank. As in, straight thru Frank’s wall and into his living room. After the associate becomes transporter kibble and bits, Frank is forced to do what he does best, under the thumb of Robert Knepper, fresh from his role of Prison Break’s T-Bag. When you awake with an explosive bracelet around your wrist, which will detonate if you stray too far from your vehicle, well, see the aforementioned pile of kibble and bits.

Where the first Transporter gave us some enchanting eye candy in Qi Shu, as well as a worthy cause to fight for, we are now presented with the grating, irritating, fingernails on the chalkboard, get on your nerves Natalya Rudakova. Given the choice of transporting her thru Europe or blowing up, I’d run from the car.

The main gist of the film is to get the father of Valentina, Natalya’s character, to sign a treaty allowing very bad radioactive waste material into the country. After all, where else could they dump it? Henceforth, the kidnapping and transportation of Valentina in order to force the father’s hand.

While we are treated to car stunts performed by real stunt drivers and not a CGI blue screen, and Frank’s Ex-Special Forces skills, including the obligatory warehouse/garage fight scene where several bad guys are coming out of every portal and crevice possible, all itching to get their own piece of Frank, it’s pretty much everything we’ve seen before, and not enough to raise this edition to new heights. Or even high. Clearly it speaks of a good thing done one too many times. And Natalya Rudakova really is irritating. Placing the explosive bracelet on her would have been doing the world a favor.

Pass on this one, watch the original Transporter. It’s still the best Frank around.

Buy now from Amazon.com:
Transporter 3 (DVD)
Transporter 3 Video Download
The Original Transporter (DVD)
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Transporter 3 [DVD] [2008]
The Transporter Trilogy [DVD] [2002]